Thursday, January 3, 2019

Hello Again: Updates and Apologies

Hello Everyone!

Long time no see, strangers.


I believe it has been just about three years since I last came on here and posted on this blog.
I never really explained why I stopped, much less gave a heads up. And for that, I am deeply sorry for.

I never voiced out my new and nasty feelings of dread at having to post. It became a chore for me, and I hated that, I hated how easy it was for me to start resenting this thing I once found joy in. Something I thought would grant me access to new friends that have the same interests as me. This was a blog about the things I absolutely love: books, reading them and share my own thoughts and opinions. The perks were being able to interact with authors because I truly have always wanted to write a story of my own. I was also given opportunities for reviewing books from other book bloggers, publishing companies, and at times directly from the authors themselves. I really loved every aspect of this world.

However, the tedious blog posting just ripped the rug right out from under me. Before I knew it, I was longing to just read and not post. I was wanting to write, and used that as a cop out, even though I never actually felt serious about that avenue until just recently. Speaking of, that resolve I found is what got me to get back on here, to be completely honest. I wanted someone to talk to about my writing progress. In reality, I have not on single person that has the same interests as I do. I don't know any other person that loves books, reading, and/or writing as much as I do. And it was this train of thought that made me realize, again, that this was my ugly truth that got my to start my blog all those years ago in the first place. I just wanted to talk to someone that could relate.

Anyway, coming into this new year of 2019, I am a bit nervous. This is the first time I've ever been serious about writing. And when I started to dip my toes in the water the last few months of last year, I had a pretty tough time with it. I joined NaNoWriMo at the start of November, and it sucked for me. Between every regular daily things that I did to the holidays, it was hard for me to find the time to write. I was also doing papers for someone and that took enough time already. When I finally had that free moment to write for me, nothing would come to me, so I would end up reading, or watching Netflix. Yeah, I know. Bad Netflix.

Yes, I know that I cannot be the only one going through this. But what I'm scared of is being distracted. I still want to read books, but I don't want that to overshadow my writing time for this year. I've set strict goals for reading AND writing. But I can't help but think that I might wind up excelling in one and slacking in the other. And my worst-case scenario is where my writing in the one area I'm afraid I could slack in.

At the end of 2018, I closed it in with just shy of 40K words in my story. My goal for this year is to finish this story with having written another 50K or so. I also already updated my reading goal on Goodreads to 150 books this year. I am a fast reader, so I'm grateful for that. The thought of failing or the rejection of my story are my true fears, which is why it has taken me until now to actively work for what I want to accomplish.

All in all, I have come back on here to say that I will be posting again. I will be posting about different things going on with me. Mostly about my writing. I haven't really taken into consideration about posting reviews or anything like that. Throughout the years that I have been absent, I have not been actively reviewing the books I've read. As of right now, I feel like my first and foremost priority is and has to be my writing. So when I have trouble writing my story, or just get stuck, I will have this blog to come and write about it. So that I will still be writing, and keep the habit of doing so.

So if you've made it this far in this long ass blog post, I commend you.

Until my next post, cheers!

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